On the Concept of Self-Care
Hello! This is your friendly, neighborhood educational psychologist. If we haven't met yet, I'm Kendra. I do all sorts of things like psych testing for special education eligibility, as well as counseling, crisis management, consultation and basically any time someone thinks "help, help, I need a psych. Or maybe just an adult?" I can't promise you I'm always qualified to be an "adult", but according to the California Board of Behavioral Sciences, I'm always qualified to be a psychologist.
I wanted to reach out and talk a little bit about "self-care." (I can FEEL you rolling your eyes at me, but hear me out). People throw this term around all the time, to the point that it's lost all meaning and basically become commercialized. But I want to talk about what self-care actually means, and why it's worth some of your seemingly non-existent time.
First, self-care is not sitting in a bubble bath with a face mask on, or drinking wine, or any of the ads that encourage pampering yourself. I mean, it could be any of those things for you. But self-care is incredibly specific to each individual. Someone else's self-care might be your personal hell (looking at you, crazy distance cyclists).
Self-care, at it's core, is the idea that you have a human body, which periodically needs attention and maintenance. This could be maintaining your mind, emotions or physical body. Take a few moments and notice what's going on for you right now. Are your thoughts racing? Are you annoyed that this post is so long and you have 17 other things to be doing right now? (That's right, I see you 😉) Does your back hurt from sitting in the same chair all day? Are you frustrated, scared, worried, about the school year? Is your spirit tired of wearing the same yoga pants all day for months or is it thrilled about it?
I know it's hard to prioritize self-care when there's so much going on and everyone apparently needs everything right now. And I also think it's important to remember that we are not surgeons or firefighters (unless you are one of those, in which case please continue to do all the things “right now”). Our jobs are important, but that immediate level of urgency present in a hospital or firehouse doesn't need to exist in your home. Or your office. We are important, but we're not that important. There is almost no case I can think of where an email response can't wait 10 minutes (or an hour, or a day) for you to stand up, stretch, drink some water and maybe look out your window and count how many trees you can see.
There isn't an award for burnout, and you are valuable as more than just a productivity machine. Your value as a person also includes the time to let your mind wander. That's how new ideas and creative solutions form.
I've found that educators and parents are almost pathologically selfless. It's what makes you good at what you do. But in this moment in the world, there will always be a kid who needs a little extra attention, and an idea you'd love to be able to do but can't get to. It's okay to set a limit. You aren't harming anyone by acknowledging that you need a little attention and maintenance, and then making time for it. Even if it's 2 minutes to just refill your water glass. Please remember that there is time to take care of yourself.
As always, but especially during distance learning, I'm available for consult on any kids you need some ideas for, or if you need a little bit of support for yourself. I'm never doing anything more important than supporting you all.
